Seven months and 198 soy lattes later, (seriously, I did the math) I’m finally ready to send my latest manuscript, EMERGENCE, out on submission! WAHHHH!!! Okay…I’ll calm down now. WAHH—no really, I will.
But first, a little backstory on the story.
Originally, this project was titled SPARK, and was a finalist in the 2011 RWA Golden Heart Contest for Young Adult Romance. I was dually thrilled and terrified, because guess what? Now people had expectations, including me. I’d inadvertently upped the ante. Crap. I was no longer safe and anonymous. Double crap.
After performing extensive crap-management, I was able to embrace the excitement and interest in my work. I was at the top of my game, right? Wrong. Because I was also plagued by this wriggling unease in my gut. This was more than self-doubt. Something was off. What? What?!
Six weeks later, I had the horrific realization—I hadn’t done the story or my characters justice. I had failed them. I went to bed that night feeling lower than a crouching plumber’s waistband. But the universe works in mysterious ways, because the next morning I awoke to a brilliant epiphany. *cue parting of clouds and angel singing* Two simple words, two words that would set me free of everything—the disappointment, the anguish, the fear…
Those were the first words out of my mouth that morning. Of course “Dream bigger,” was soon followed by a rather colorful word (which I won’t print), as I recalled there were 8 individuals holding work that I knew wasn’t my best, not by a long shot. So, I withdrew all my submissions and promptly got sick. Armed with the bones of my premise and an over-active imagination, I rewrote every-single-page of the manuscript. And it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Truly.
Here we are, submission day, and I seem to have a wider array of emotions than Crayola has colors. But that’s all part of the fun 😉 Let us raise our glasses, “To following the dream, wherever it may lead us.”